Wow. I feel lame. I haven't updated a journal since early June and it sucks. Because despite what I've done since that time, the hundreds of concepts, doodles,paintings traditional, chalk, oil,pictures ect ect and the seemingly THOUSANDS of scentences, I must say, I do not want to post a single one.

Oh. Did I mention I missed you guys...alot. I always check my deviations but never comment, because I never have the time to take it in, and when I do I am admittedly a lazy slob. Let me sum up my year briefly to you, and briung it into a new year. 2011.

I will be the first to say this year has flown by so fast. I didnt even see it go. July I was a lazy fat bum.stop.

August I went back to school, got close with some freinds and was told I was a power hungry, fat, a bitch, and I was mocked. I got my own squad and some of them were friendable, but Im not allowed to do that.

September. My RATS are done training, but they are still under my commandMy older brother turns 17 and I realize he graduates next school year. Octobor. Same shit, diffrent day.

November My littles sisters birthday...she turned 13 and I realize I don't want her to grow up. My grandma (whose Birthdday is on the same day) turns older and I dont know what Id do with out her, which makes me think about losing my parents which is like my biggest fear ever.

December brings Finals. I end the semester with a 3.0, I get out of school, I realize my creativity has almost died out with this semester despite all the work Ive done, but it was assigned, or just...whatever. This comes with what must be the hundreds of dollars of art supplies my family bought me. I lie awake sometimes and think about scary stuff, like the future, and make die inside but cant cry because all my tears are just AWOL..they went to RAT week.

I recount the 4 RATS that passed through my sqaud alone and feel like a failure of a leader.I feel like a shit sister aand daughter and I realize I dont like the way I act sometimes and vow to change it.

With that I want to know everything. How was your year? Did it go by as fast as mine did?